Something More
by TakemylovedowntoVioletHill
Summary: 2D decides that he hates his life, so he attempts suicide. As he's fading out, Noodle finds him alone and calls an ambulance. Can this little guitarist convince Stuart that more than just his fans love him?
1. A Pill Bottle

I-I wasn't always like this, y'know. I didn't always have this blank stare, these dents for eyes. I wasn't always stupid, I had a future once.

I had been Stuart Pot, I was popular, did well in school, I worked. Now I'm only 2D, Face-Ache, a freak. I am so far gone with painkillers that I can barely remember what day it is. I just sleep and sing. I have everything anyone would want, and I hate it, I hate myself. I didn't want any of it, I didn't ask for that car slamming into my head, breaking my teeth and taking my eyes. I just wanted to be Stuart, I just wanted to be me.

The drugs take away most of my aggressive feeling, so the band gets the vibe that I'm nothing but a well-meaning junkie, but inside I am filled with enough hatred to even impress Murdoc.

I am presently sitting in my room, with a bottle of sleeping pills in my hand that I stole from Russel. I don't want to live anymore, I don't want the fake love of the fans, I want to be me again. I want to be free again, to be able to go through a day without one pill. No more, no more.

I sighed and popped seven of the sleeping agents into my mouth and took a sip of water, swallowing them. I continued in this manner till I couldn't see the pill bottle anymore, I slumped over sideways and just listened to the sound of my breathing.

I didn't hear Noodle come in, but I saw her blurry face and heard her scream.


	2. Should've Left Me Alone

A beeping machine woke me and the first thing I saw was white.

_I did it! _I thought. _I'm dead… but I feel terrible._ My head hurt worse than it normally did and my body hurt, especially my stomach. I tried to sit up and then Noodle came into view. Little Noodle, sitting there with a small bouquet of daisies, waiting for me to wake up. Her tear-stained face looked tired and stressed as she got up and walked to my bedside, kissing my cheek.

"Are you well Stu?" she whispered. I nodded, rubbing my eyes.

"Yeah luv, but what 'appened?" I murmured. Fresh tears pooled in her eyes as she shook her head.

"I came into your room and everything was wrong, you weren't breathing normal and your face was all calm. I screamed and called an ambulance. I was so scared 2D-san." She wailed, her voice cracking as she sniffled.

"Oh luv," I felt guilt well up inside of me. "Why didn' yew jus' leave me alone. I would've been fine Noods." I lied to her. Her gaze hardened.

"No you are not telling the truth 2D-san," she hissed, eyes darkening. "The doctors said you would've died if I hadn't called. What were you thinking? You know about your medicine! Why would you be so careless?"

"Because I wan'ed to die luv." I whispered. "I've been wan'in' to die fer a long, long time." Her angry expression dissolved to be replaced with shock.

"W-what?" she said, her eyes wide. I shook my head.

"Yew should've jus' lef' me alone." I said again. She didn't seem to hear me but grabbed my hand, squeezing it.

"Stu," she said, shocked. "You must never think that! Never! You cannot die, I would miss you! Russel would miss you!" I noticed how she didn't mention Murdoc.

"I 'ate meself Noods, I don't wan' to live anymore. I'm tired o' all the abuse, o' the way I lewk. I don' want this, I wan' to be Stuart Pot again." Noodle looked at my face, and then started crying harder, hugging me awkwardly from her spot beside my hospital bed.

"Oh 2D-san, please don't! I love you Stu! Remember all the happy times!" she pleaded. I looked down at her and shook my head.

"No good little luv," I said. She gazed at me steadily before straightening back up, handing me the bouquet and leaving.

"Good-bye 2D-san, I hope you get better soon so you can come home, Russel-san and Murdoc-san will be here later to come see you." She murmured before closing the door and leaving me alone in my depressing hospital bed.


	3. Murdoc's Tale

I counted minutes, I stared at the ceiling until the stucco turned into shaped above me, I thought of what would've happened if I'd have actually died. I cried, I took a lot of medication, and I sang to myself.

I felt like it'd been a million years since Noodle had left, but later that day I did hear footsteps outside my door and Russel (with much difficulty) and Murdoc entered the small hospital room.

Russ had a teddy bear clutched in his giant hands, it looked so small compared to him. Murdoc had a balloon that said 'Congratulations' on it.

"'Ey Face-Ache," he said, looking at me through his mismatched eyes. "'Ow're you doin'? 'Eard you scared Noodle half to death." I looked down.

"Muds, shut the fuck up man." Russel growled. "Stu, we're here to say that we want you back man, I mean, you're our brother. We're glad you're not gone." I smiled at such heartfelt words.

"Fanks Russ, it means a lot." I said, Murdoc muttered something and lit a cigarette.

"Sir," the nurse protested. "You can't smoke in here!" she said. The Satanist glared at her.

"Yes I can, watch." He blew a big cloud of smoke in her face. She opened her mouth to say something but Murdoc bared his teeth at her and she gasped instead. "Jus' sit down bird, go on, that's a good girl." He said soothingly. He took another drag and looked back at me.

"Murdoc, be nice." Russ chided.

"I'm not the problem 'ere," he replied, pointing a green finger at me. "We 'ave a bloody suicidal singer on our 'ands."

"He's not a problem, he's just lost, now shut your face." Russel growled, then he turned to me and smiled a big smile. "'D jus' know we all are waitin' for you to come 'ome. We called your parents and they're comin' to see you too. It's gonna be okay Stu." He said encouragingly.

I looked at him, my expression blank. "I don' want to go 'ome, I wan' to die." I said flatly. This caught Russ off guard and he looked at me, shocked. "Yew don' understand, any of yew!" I said, upset. "I don' wan' to live anymore! I know fat as long as I'm in fat bloody 'ouse I'm goin' to be beaten, told I'm worthless, smacked around. I'm done, I'm tired of bein' a shell."

"Oh come, come Stuart." Murdoc said, taking a drag off of his cigarette. "You will be fine, it's just a phase, all rockstars go through it. I shot myself you know."

"Yew did?" Russel and I asked simultaneously. Muds nodded.

"Yep, when I was… erm, twenty-seven! I 'ad 'ad enough and said 'fuck it' and just put a pistol to my 'ead. My sister walked in jus' then and wrestled the gun away from me 'ead but I pulled the trigger an' ended up blowing my fucking pinky finger off." He said, looking down glumly at his little finger on his right hand, it had a fake pink nail in it.

"Wow Muds, really?" I said, fascinated. He nodded, puffing on his cigarette, smirking at the nurse who sat with her lips pressed together.

"Indeed, it is jus' a phase, so you'll get over it old chap." He said, rising, patting me on the head and leaving. Russ sighed and stood as well.

"We're here for you Stu, even Muds." He promised, embracing me and then departing as well. I rubbed my eyes and looked over at the nurse.

"Can I get some more pain meds please?" I asked. She nodded.


	4. Wisdom Through the Japanese Language

**Author's Note: Japanese is spoken in this chapter and do not be irritated that I do not provide explanations to what they say because it provides a key bit on plot so don't go on your own and try to figure it out cause then you'll just fuck the story up and ruin it for yourself.**

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My hospital discharge was a lot more ceremonial than I would have preferred, with the band showing up and cheering when I got my clothes handed back to me. I scratched the back of my neck in embarrassment and changed quickly out of my hospital gown.

"We're pleased to have you back Stu." Russ said happily, driving us back to Essex and I smiled when Kong came into view. Noodle was sitting next to me and she smiled at me.

"Subete ga umaku iku 2D-san." She whispered to me.

"Huh?"

"All will be well." She translated. I nodded, as we pulled into the driveway it began to snow. I looked up at the flakes and thought about what it must be like to be a piece of frozen water falling from the sky.

All was okay until we entered the house and I looked a mirror, all the self-loathing surfaced again as I looked back at my vacant, ugly form. Russ noticed this and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey man, you look fine." He murmured. I shook my head and felt tears spill over my lids.

"I'm a freak," I choked. Noodle frowned at me and glared, I looked to her as she marched up to me.

"Kore wa fukanodesu! Anata ga iro yo ni dare mo anata o henko suru koto ga dekimasu anata wa, watashi-tachi ga nani ka iu kliite inai, watashi-tachiwa anata o aishite imasu." She said, resorting to her native tongue to get her point across. Russel nodded towards her.

"Ma, akachan no shojo wa itta." He replied. Noodle smiled at him.

"Thank you Russel-san." She said in English, she gave me a hug and then flounced off to her room.

"Wot'd she say Russ?" I asked. He eyed me and shrugged.

"Dunno, ask her." He said, walking away. He turned his head slightly before he disappeared from view entirely though. "You should talk to Noodle about your depression, I'm sure she can help you love life again 'D." he said, chuckling. "She sure is wise for a fourteen year-old."

I still wasn't in on whatever joke was happening so I went and racked the bookshelves in the library for our Japanese-English dictionary and set to work translating a decent question to Noodle, thinking asking her in her language would invoke some other wisdom from her.


	5. Back to Life

Noodle was playing her guitar in her room when I knocked and opened the door. She looked up and smiled at me.

"Hello Stu-san!" she said happily. I fumbled with my little piece of paper and attempted to read my messy scrawl.

"Erm, I have a question. I wrote it in Japanese…" Noodle giggled, waiting expectantly. I looked at her again, remembering another question. "How'd Russel learn Japanese?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Del wasn't restricted by language barriers, and when he left he passed that onto Russel-san. Also, he was attempting to learn because of my previous troubles with the English language." She said. "But ask me your question! I want to hear what you have to say!" she grinned at me.

"Okay, erm," I squinted at my unintelligible hieroglyphics. "Anata wa chusha-jo de itte ita?" I muttered out in my cockney accent. She looked at me.

"I said that you didn't listen to anything we say and you are fine the way you are." She replied, motioning for me to sit next to her. I sat on her big bed and looked at her.

"I don't believe fat any one sees how… terrible I look." I said glumly. Noodle sighed.

"It's okay, I have buck teeth and green eyes," she responded.

"Wot do the eyes 'ave to do wif anyfing?" I asked.

"Green eyes are not common for a Japanese person. This makes me a freak in my own homeland." She said. "I embrace it however; my eyes are who I am! You should too." She murmured. I looked at her and just fell backwards onto her bed.

"I guess…" I said with a sigh.

"Why do you think that no one loves you Stuart?" she asked, I noticed she just said my name with no 'san' at the end, as if she was trying to relate better to me. I appreciated the effort.

"I jus' get lonely sometimes, between Muds beatin' me every four seconds and the pills… it's not really a good combination. I'm angry a lot too." I whispered, closing my eyes. "I'm so tired Noods." I said.

She lay down next to me, I felt the bed shift. "We all love you 2D, we want you to get better, I don't know what I'd do if you had succeeded in killing yourself-" she shivered. "-because you are a part of our family. It would've been if I had lost a brother."

I nodded, feeling my spiked hair grind against the sheets. I spread my arms to her and she allowed herself to get scooped up. "I don' fink I'm goin' to do fat again, don' worry little luv." I murmured into her hair and I felt her nod.

I opened my eyes and gazed at the ceiling, a smile creeping onto my face. Noodle stood up.

"Where're yew goin'?" I asked.

"I'm going to go get something to eat. Just stay here." She said, kissing me on the cheek before walking quietly to the door and closing it.

I put a shaky hand to my cheek and just like that, I didn't feel depressed anymore, like some unimaginable burden had been lifted. I smiled, running my tongue along my broken teeth. Maybe Noodle had been right all along… and there were people who loved me, not just fans.

I stood up and examined a little red paper lantern, this newly lifted burden overjoying me. Noodle opened the door again, a sandwich in her hands.

"Hey I'm ba-"

"Oh Noods!" I said enthusiastically, kissing her on the forehead before heading out. I was back to my old self. I went into my room and the first thing I saw was the sleeping pills. I froze.

Haunting memories flooded my brain, and carefully I picked the pills up and flushed them down the toilet. Watching them go down made me happier. I looked in the bathroom mirror and smiled at my blank stare.

Stuart Pot was still in there, I could feel him moving around, but he had made room for 2D now as well. The conflict inside himself was solved with the help of little Noodle. I owed her my life, and I walked out of my room into the kitchen, singing the first verse to Hong Kong.

The song was had an eerie sound the way it echoed off of the walls and I enjoyed it, I realized how much I would've missed out on as I looked upon the band I loved like my family. They were all I really had, I leaned against the wall, smiling to myself like an idiot.

Murdoc looked up at me and scowled. "Stop lookin' at me like that, Ache-Face." He growled. "Too happy for yer own good." He grumbled. Russ turned around and saw me as well.

"Didja talk to Noods?" he asked, I nodded. He looked pleased. Turning around back to his book I heard him chuckle. "Welcome back Mr. Pot." I felt so alive.


End file.
